About four weeks ago, certainly one of my siblings tagged me in a video clip she recorded of Family Feud, a casino game show where two families compete for the money award by searching for the most used answers to a number of concerns. In the episode she recorded, host and comedian Steve Harvey asks the participants to resolve an extremely loaded statement: “Name grounds a lady might choose to be having a chubby or fat man.”
The contestants’ answers end up supplying a funny round in the minds of this contestants, Steve Harvey, and presumably the viewers.
But my sister didn’t share this movie on her behalf Facebook page to garner laughs from her relatives and buddies. It had been quite contrary: my sis ended up being aggravated in the round’s subject plus the responses offered. My cousin penned:
“This actually bothers me personally! For this reason individuals think you should be skinny/fit become stunning, to be desired, to be loved, and also to deserve anything…this is never OK!”
My sister tagged me personally in this article once you understand my history in fat studies and sex studies (so when a fat masculine person), knowing I would personally concur along with her frustrations.
Image description: A screenshot associated with Family Feud game board aided by the six most well known responses: “Fatty got money” (34 away from 100 individuals surveyed), “She’s fat/digs food” (23/100), “She’ll look better” (12/100), “She’s in love” (9/100), “He’s warm/cuddly” (6/100), and “He won’t cheat” (4/100). The single thing this round that is particular of Feud does correctly is summarize a number of the unfortunate fables our society perpetuates about fat people — specifically, fat guys — and relationships.
Nonetheless, calling away fatphobic urban myths had been demonstrably maybe maybe not the game’s aim. Alternatively it perpetuated body terrorism against fat figures to get laughs that are cheap. Let’s proceed through each of the top six many popular answers in order to better understand how they’re inaccurate and damaging to males of size.
1. “Fatty Got Money!”: Fat Men Are Only Valuable With Their Cash or Energy
The misconception: the reality that this misconception is one of popular regarding the six offered responses — 34 associated with 100 individuals initially surveyed offered this or a similarly-worded response — is troubling by itself. This misconception is one thing we come across throughout US tradition, whether it’s in films, politics, or popular tradition.
The general assumption is that this fat man has to have money or some sort of power if a classically attractive person of any gender is with a fat man. Why else would somebody who could presumably get with anybody they desired decide to get with a disgusting fat guy, right?
This sort of idea is incredibly damaging for the lot of fat guys, putting each of their value as individuals in to the cash or power they might or might not have.
More reads that are radical going from Healthism to Radical Self-Love: the person into the picture
The facts: While you can find, of course, many people who just look for relationships for the money or energy, the reality is that frequently, individuals will prefer to get by having a man that is fat they really wish to be with him. This myth is much less frequently put on skinny or “fit” males, unless of program see your face is famous to own cash or power. However it’s much easier for individuals to comprehend two thin or traditionally appealing individuals being together because they’re drawn to one another than each time a thin or person that is traditionally attractive to be having a fat guy for any other less trivial reasons.
2. “She’s Fat/Digs Food”: Fat People Just Like Other Fat Individuals
The misconception: with this specific misconception, we come across exactly exactly how individuals try to just simply just take away fat people’s agency. It means that fat individuals will simply be in a position to have relationships along with other fat individuals, because they only find other fat people attractive or that’s all they can “get”, in the most brutal of terms whether it’s.
Slipped into this misconception is just a relevant fatphobic misconception: that most fat everyone loves to consume a large amount of meals, and all individuals who like to eat foodstuffs are fat.
The facts: place clearly, the presumption that fat individuals will just look for relationships along with other fat people is false. Humans — fat, thin, plus in between — could be and frequently are drawn to a wide number of individuals of most sizes and shapes. To assume that fat individuals will just ever be with fat individuals are at ab muscles least ignorant, or even entirely fatphobic and sizeist.
And also as for the proven fact that fatness is inherently correlated with (over)eating — that’s another misconception too.
3. “She’ll Look Better”: Fat Guys Are Unattractive
The misconception: All fat guys, based on this worldview, are inherently less appealing than any partner they might ever have. Such men’s partners would just utilize them to show up more desirable in comparison. This misconception makes the assumption that, as previously mentioned above, no body could conceivably maintain a relationship with a fat guy because they’re actually interested in him. Fat folks are merely tools to presumably make their non-fat) lovers feel more desirable.
The reality: in the same way some individuals might pursue a fat guy for cash or power, many people might just pursue fat guys to appear more desirable to other people. In fact, though, this appears to be less frequent than this response might have us think.
I’ll keep saying the idea, regardless of if We seem like a broken record: people really find fat males attractive!
4. “She’s In Love”
It was the only real truly mocking-free response included in the very best answers regarding the board. That by itself is illustrative regarding the fatphobia that is entrenched display into the other countries in the responses. In addition is available in at 9/100, and thus away from 100 individuals surveyed, “She’s in love” ended up being the clear answer provided by just nine individuals.
Exactly what are fat males viewing expected to think of their bodies and their well well well worth as humans?
5. “He’s Warm/Cuddly”: Fat Men Are Great For Cuddling Although Not Intercourse
The misconception: that is those types of stereotypes that are“positive many of us you will need to used to buttress their blatant bigotry. It’s somewhat similar to statements like “all Asians are smart” or “all homosexual men are stylish and confident.”
Fat men are stereotyped to be hot and cuddly, not much else in the side that is“positive” of. As proof of this, one of several game show participants offered a remedy that finished up maybe maybe not being in the board: that a lady would date a man that is fat he had been great at intercourse. Steve Harvey, in the “comedic” fashion, reacted as though it was probably the most answer that is outrageous the entire world, because of the other participants together with market laughing in contract. By doing this, the show promoted the idea that while fat males can be hot and cuddly, they aren’t become seen as intimate beings, let alone “good” at sex.
The facts: the problem with “positive stereotypes” is they anyone that is automatically alienate does not remain in those stereotypes. A whole lot worse, they alienate whoever would like to be observed as more than simply the caricature of themsleves painted by culture.
Really the only quality that is redeeming tradition permits fat guys — if they aren’t rich or powerful, rather than also 100% for the time — is they’re like fluffy bears. Even though many fat guys are certainly “warm and cuddly,” it’s harmful to allow them to see this because their only good trait.
Further, exactly what somebody perceives to be that is“good “bad” at intercourse is usually entirely subjective and situated in individual choice. Ridiculing the idea that fat men might be “good” at intercourse further entrenches systemic fatphobia.
6. “He Won’t Cheat”: Fat Men Are Too In Need Of Want To Be Unfaithful
The misconception: Fat men won’t ever cheat on the lovers, the reasoning goes, since they wouldn’t do just about anything to destroy the “only sure thing” they will have inside their present relationship. Or in other words, they already know that no one else would like to be using them.
The facts: To bluntly put it, this will be directly incorrect. This dehumanizing survey solution assumes that fatness is inherently correlated with desperation for intimate and intimate attention.
As damning as it might be to acknowledge, fat guys are just like likely as virtually any guys to cheat on the lovers. And many more crucially, this misconception posits that fat men are incredibly ugly, they would be given by no one to be able to cheat on the lovers, which, once again, can also be drastically wrong to assume.
More Radical Reads: 5 Myths Which Can Be maintaining You Against Having a fattitude that is fabulous
The Ongoing Challenge of Fatphobia
These five survey answers on Family Feud show the blatant body terrorism fat men are subjected to in our culture as with all myths and stereotypes about a group of people.
Despite exactly yemeni mail order wife what these fables may have you imagine, fat men’s systems are inherently worthy. They’re also desirable and appealing to numerous other folks. This truth should be so hard n’t to assume, however the undeniable fact that it had been addressed as a result for a tv series illustrates exactly how profoundly fatphobia has pervaded culture.
As you’re watching this episode angered and disturbed me personally, it is a reminder that people have actually substantial strive to do in order to attain any kind of across-the-board quantities of respect for fat individuals. Just then will we have the ability to make these urban myths and any negative perceptions associated to them obsoleted modes of idea in the place of mostly accepted norms.
Feature image: picture of a person indoors that are sitting. They have been putting on a white t-shirt and baseball limit because they stare in to the camera with a small grin on the face. They will have dark epidermis, a fade that is low, and a beard.